BecomingYoungAdult

Scars

2011-04-21T05:03:00.000-07:00

I wanted scars to prove to you that I miss you.
Instead I got a broken heart. Nothing I can show you.

The feeling of loneliness is creeping on me.

Under Meds.

2011-04-19T07:36:00.000-07:00

Yes.
Again it is been awhile since I last posted.

The news are not so great. Nothing has gotten better really.
My anxiety is through the roof, and my grades are through the ground (at least I feel like they are).
The confidence and excitement I had built up last semester and during China is all gone.
Not only that, but I am now insomniac. Not by choice.
I am under medication (Zoloft and Ambien) to control my anxiety, and to help me sleep.
The issue is, I can't sleep because I am anxious, but I am anxious because I can't sleep.

Never ending. I had one good week of sleeping, and now it seems that I have grown immuned to the Ambien. So I am going back to the doctor to fix that. The zoloft is giving me paranoia attacks in the middle of the night.
I look like crap because I don't sleep and because I don't have energy to care.
I am fatter than I have ever been and I can't stop eating because I am so tired.
I am too tired to do homework, or study, so I can't even do that, which is affecting my grades.
I had to deal with my car breaking down.
I am happy to say that I have tons of money in the bank, but money doesn't lead to happiness. And all that money is about to be gone for rent and utilities.
I might have found a cheaper place to live next year. If I make it.
I might go back to France this summer.
Work is stressing me out because everyone expects something from me.
I can't help but be insecure about my new relationship.
I can't help but fear about my last relationship.
I can't help but be insecure about myself.
I just want to sleep at this point for hours and hours at a time, with no one telling me what I have to do, or what is wrong with me, or feel gross.
I just want vacations. <3

News

2011-02-17T11:12:00.000-08:00

I'm sorry I've been quiet.

I've had difficulties with life lately. I need a release, and I wish this blog could help, but it cannot.

Happy news:
I am going to France this spring break. I need a break from this american lifestyle, and from this stress and worry in my stomach. I need my home. So I'm going. I am doing pretty well financially, enough for me to afford a trip to Europe.

I also have to look into new houses, because I can't live with most of the people I live with right now.

I have two more classes than last semester, and I can feel it in my bone.

Basically, I am working more, to keep my thoughts busy, but it is exhausting.
I want France <3

What to do with an ex?

2011-02-10T07:03:00.000-08:00

I am not sure how to answer that question myself, but Im not sur emy ex is really getting the message. It seems like he still thinks in terms of "we" and "us" rather than himself, or maybe he thinks too much about himself?

I am not sure.

All I know is that yesterday wasn't the greatest day. He sent me a pretty funny text asking me to hang out, which I might not be able to, because I might have to pick up hours at work. Then he told me we could just cuddle in front of his computer. *sigh*. Cuddle? What was he thinking? After one lunch with him I would fall back in love with him?
I *DO NOT* want to fall back in love with him. Ever. The last two years were filled with just empty promises and hope and disappointment on my part. I can't live like that anymore, I need to live for myself, and not under his regime. So, after I told him I couldn't communicate with him and to leave me alone he proceeded to call me and leave me a REALLY long voicemail.

*sigh*.
*again*.

I told him to leave me alone a couple times, and he still calls? Did I stutter via text? Is it that hard to understand that I don't want to be with him anymore? Am I sending mixed signals? Should I just not talk to him for the next 6 months (Advise given to me by someone who went through something similar)?
What to do with an ex?

It is been awhile.

2011-02-07T08:41:00.000-08:00

It is been a really long time since last time I posted.
First. I WON NANOWRIMO!! :DDD
YES YES! LEXI HELPED ME WIN.... BUT I WON.

Now, my new goal is to finish that story.

Frankly, I stopped blogging because I broke up with Kevin and was too depressed to want to write anything to anyone, or even communicate with anyone. I really closed off on myself at that time, and I still am.
I am keeping busy with school and work. Working long hours, and adding two extra classes than last semester. Anything to keep my mind off of my pain. My achy breaky heart. Even though, I am happy about my decision, I can't help but be nostalgic at times.

I saw him yesterday. It had been so long, and so painful for both of us, that it was nice to see him smile. I told him about a random hook up and he didn't take it very well. I should have known, but at least I was honest. Honesty always wins right?
Then why does it feel shitty? Is it, maybe, because I STILL don't know how to care for myself, but only for others? And I would rather see everyone smile, and my arms with scars than to see myself happy and one person sad?
How is that good for me?

My trip to China really opened my eyes on that issue. I got myself deathly sick in order to care for my room mate. I stayed up endless hours of the night to make sure she was alright, and ran around getting medicine for her, and I didn't notice I was myself sick until finally one day, my body couldn't take it anymore. I had to go to the hospital and get myself IVed and everything. Why did I put myself through all that? So Lauren could at least have a bit of a good time.

I don't think I could really ever become a person who wants her own happiness. It makes me sad to think this way, but let's be honest (since we are on that topic), could I really re-teach myself on how to be happy when someone is sad? Even if I feel thats the way the rest of the world works?
I don't think so. I am giving up on that goal. I will make myself happy through making others happy, even if it means sacrificing myself and my needs. Who cares about them anyway?

:] Well, I will try to post something new everyday. Next post should be about my awesome trip to China, right? ;]

NanoUpdate

2010-11-26T20:37:00.000-08:00

This is my graph now! As you can see there was some holes. I am a bad person ;] Just kidding.

The first hole was because of Harry Potter 7, so totally worth it. The last two holes was my laziness. I did get lazy, but as you can see, I caught up!

Now, I am back on my way to the top of NanoWrimo!

I hope all of you my friends, my dear writers, are also on the path to win!

Now, I must make Lexi snap at someone else. She is whining again :P

Cooking a chicken pot pie

2010-11-21T12:10:00.000-08:00

Today is Sunday. In my head, Sunday is cooking day. I usually wake up, spend sometime in front of the TV, hunting down some recipes. Once I have set my mind on something delicious, I go to the store and spend at least an hour picking out the best and cheapest ingredients.
Today was Chicken Pot Pie day. My room mate is sick, and it is grey outside, evoking a sense of darkness. It was time to eat some "comfort food". Chicken Pot Pies are nutritional if done right, and they are warm enough to keep us happy for a couple of hours.

So off I went to make 4 chicken pot pies with my small college budget.
I went to buy the ingredients, and in total, it comes down to 15$. For 4 chicken pot pies. I was worried I didn't have enough ingredients, but I had the perfect amount, expect for the chicken. Good thing we have a vegetarian in the house.

So here is how I made them.

1 cup [200 grams] of small onions (cut)
1 cup [200 grams] of carrots (diced)
1 cup [200 grams] of celery (diced)
1 cup [200 grams] of potatoes (diced)
1 cup [200 grams] of peas
4 slices of chicken (diced)
1 can of chicken broth
Salt and Pepper
1 cup [200 grams] of heavy cream
1 cup [200 grams] of milk
1 Tbsp [13 grams] of butter
2 Tbsp [13 grams] of flour
4 Pre-made crust in a bowl

Preparation:
First I cut all of the vegetables, and chicken. I opened the cans and checked that I had enough pans. (It requires two pans or one).

Cooking:
Saute the vegetables. (Which means to add the vegetables to oil and a pan. The oil must be hot.)
Add the chicken. Once the chicken is white, or brownish (to your preference, add the butter. Mix well. After the butter is melted, add the flour. Season with salt and pepper (as much as you want) It should look a little bready. After the flour is mixed in (you shouldn't see the flour anymore), you want to add the broth. The whole can will be fine. Let it simmer until it is a bit thicker. Then when the liquid is reduced of half of the amount that it was, you just need to add the milk and the heavy cream. Then let it simmer for a little bit, and when it looks a little thicker take the pan off the fire.
Preheat the oven for 400F [200C].
Once it is pre-heated, you can put the mix you just prepared in your bowls and put the crust on top, or not. Your choice on that one. Then put it in the bowls for 10 mns in the oven.

Enjoy!

Deathly Hallows. A review.

2010-11-19T06:05:00.000-08:00

So, I went to the midnight premiere of Harry Potter 7 and the Deathly Hallow - Part 1.

Yes, I stayed up all night so the inner-nerd in my could be satisfies.

And. It. Was.

The movie followed the book closely, which was very very exciting. It didn't feel rushed in anyway, like the 6th movie. We had time to analyze the scene and feel for the characters as each scene took place. The timing for each scene could not have been better.

If you haven't read the book, no worries, everything is explained pretty well in the movies. So you can follow along, and discover Harry's adventure in a logical sense. There is no secrets that isn't revealed to you, and for that matter, everything is pretty much spelled out to you.

My favorite scene was when Hermione was telling the story. I love animated movies, so that was animated, and my fav'. Just the whole story is so crucial to the book, that if not told well, we could have been left scratching our head. There was no head scratch.

My least favorite scene was when Bertha transformed into a snake. It was truly, the scariest part of the movie. I didn't expect it to be THIS scary, and I never wanted to see that part again.

Now for grades:

Characters:

-Acting: A+ (Ron is the best actor in the world.)

-Wardrobe: A+++ (Hermione's outfit are ADORABLE. New personal hero of mine)

- Haircuts: A- (I hate Harry's hair, and at times Ron's)

- Secondary characters: B+ (We really don't see much of them. It is too focused on Hermione, Harry and Ron. The only reason I gave it a "+" was because my favorite characters are still hot.)

- Deaths: B+ (TOO MUCH CRYING)

Setting:

- Landscape: A (Beautiful landscapes and sunsets at all times. Dreaminnngg)

- Luna's house: A- (A little too organized for my choosing. They aren't crazy enough with that)

- The wedding: B- (We didn't see enough. I was sad)

- The ministry: B+ (That was pretty well done. I enjoyed it.)

- The tent: A (Gotta mention the tent seeing as it is in there ALL THE TIME. Plain and boring, but oh well)

Magic stuff:

- Hermione's bag: A+ (I WANT IT. It just never ends.)

- The wands: A (Love the symbolism. Go see it and you will know what scene I'm taking about. *wink wink*Lucius and Voldemort *wink wink*)

- Hermione's spells: A (she is pretty much the only one using cool spells this movie. Ron even says "You're the best at spells." So, they are pretty interesting)

- The snitch: B- (Didn't have a giant part in it, maybe it will come around in the next book.)

- Ron's lighter: B (Not even going to attempt to write that. The effect were pretty cool and it was actually interesting to watch him use it.)

- The horcrux: A+ (Totally loved it!)

Plot:

- For reals? A++

Therefore, all together I give it an A+ and a "see again!"

Link to my self-esteem

2010-11-18T05:54:00.000-08:00

All I am really going to do today is give you this link : CLICK HERE

You can click on it, read it, and love it as much as I do ;]

Here is a little preview from that amazing article.

"French girls may not have the quirky eccentricity of British girls, but they all share one thing: an unshakeable confidence in the power of their femininity, as nature intended it"

Society's new addition?

2010-11-17T05:42:00.000-08:00

I was taking a shower (Yeah I do that sometimes) and I realized that money was a new addiction.
I realized that while I was counting the amount of Dollares in my bank account to this day.

Money is something on my mind at all times, because it is all around us. It something we will call an invisible addiction, because it is accepted in society.

When a woman cannot stop thinking about her body image, we call her anorexic or bulimic.
When a man cannot stop smoking, we call them a heavy smoker.
When a person cannot stop working, they are a workaholic.

But what about a person who cannot stop worrying about money?
Well, that's called normal. In the society I live in, money is everything. The reason for living is money in some people's lives. How many times do I hear people saying that they cannot die, because it would mean leaving a family without an income.

I know lately I have been worried about my own bank account, and I was thinking in what way can I bring more money in my little virtual piggy bank. It is that worry that feeds our addiction with money.
I pick up jobs that I hate in order to make some extra cash. I am stuck at a job that I do not enjoy so I can pay for rent and food bills. Before I swip my bank card, I calculate how much I have left in my account, and what it means for the week.

I wonder, if I was in someone's hand at the market, how often they think of money. It is an obsession that has been accept through society, because society is based on the dollar bill. Yet, it worries people just as much as their body weight, or word count.
That is why, I am going to try to limit my time spend thinking about my finances. Limit my time online looking at my bank account, and planning and replanning how much I can spend a week. I am well aware that I have enough for my trip to China, and that I have parents who will help me if I am in a financial hole.

So why worry so much?
Why would society pollute my mind with something like that?

Because society tells me that grown-ups worry about money. And I am a grown-up now, so I must worry.
Screw that. Society, I am a rebel. You ain't getting me.

Failnance

2010-11-16T06:11:00.000-08:00

Remember that post a couple of days ago?

Okay, it was yesterday.

Remember it?

It is right under that post. Well, I was obviously not cut out for it, as I have already failed myself. Yes. I did go and spend money on frivolous things, such as food.

What's with me and spending millions on food? I have no idea, but everyday I must have lunch somewhere, and it must be good.

Now, I am determined to kick that bad habit... but maybe sometime after NaNoWriMo.

A happy Ally is a happy writer.

PS: I am going to have a long a philosophical post coming up. About Money. :P In honor to my failure.

This has been the reason of my failure. Let's boycott it together.

Just kidding. I need my salad daily. They must have put some drug in it.

I don't care, it is delicious. GO OVER PRICED SALAD!

Finances

2010-11-14T06:53:00.000-08:00

Some of you are going to be "Told you sooo", while some will weep with me.

My bank account is drastically going down, and I know exactly why. I have too much money.

I know I know, call me crazy, but as soon as my bank account as tons of money, i need to spend it all, and in the most ridiculous, pointless way possible.

Yes. I am official insane and that's why I am doing an even more insane thing today. I am taking a vow. A vow of not spending any money (Other than gas for my car) for the rest of the two weeks (until I get my pay check in my bank account).

I saw this on another blog, and always wanted to try it, but never really had the guts. I think this is the perfect opportunity as I am trying to save my money for the next month to come (and China spendings?) Therefore, we will see how much money I can save by not spending money this next two weeks.

PS: NanoWrimo is still going strong!

Praxis Update

2010-11-13T14:22:00.000-08:00

I thought I should let you know of how smart your blogger is.

So before you read more, you can realize that I might have been dropped on the head as a child. I registered for the Praxis awhile ago, and today was the exam. I showed up at the testing center, and found at that I signed up for the wrong test.

Therefore, I still have to take the Praxis at a certain point in life.

4th anniversary

2010-11-13T05:46:00.000-08:00

I know we fight. I know we scream at each other. I know we roll our eyes.

But in the end, we do love each other in a silly strange way. And therefore, on Thursday, Kevin and I celebrated our 4th Anniversary together.

It was amazing. We went to Moshulu restaurant. A boat restaurant on Penn's landing.

The food was delicious, but expensive. But no matter the amount of money, everything was just way too delicious. The atmosphere was romantic, and our conversation was so upbeat.

I ordered the wild mushroom Mahi mahi.

And Kevin ordered the Scallops.

We had a side of Mac N Cheese (the child in me will never die) and by far, it was the best dish.

And for dessert, we got the cheesecake, which was also way too good to be true.

Now that I made your mouth water, I can tell you that it was not on my NanoDiet. That's for sure. But screw the NanoDiet. I have been feeling better. I am no longer coughing up a storm and feeling sluggish, so it has already worked it's magic!

Now, today, I am off during the morning. I need to take the Praxis! :D (A test for future teachers. If I don't pass it, I won't be able to be a teacher :[ So, I better get cracking!)

NaNoEasy

2010-11-10T17:14:00.000-08:00

I clearly remember last year, NaNoWriMo was impossible to finish. After the first week, I had given up already. My old novel "My New Prison" had about 10,000 words in it, but I do not think that I wrote all those words daily, but at moments.

Now that I passed the first week, and soon it will be the half way mark, I feel like I can finish this. I can totally win NaNoWrimo. I just have to keep on track, and I will be done within days. It is amazing how fast time goes, or how easy projects are if you take it one day at a time, in baby steps.

I am pleased with everyone who is doing NaNoWriMo and is doing amazing. And even people who are having difficulties. I was there, last year. I was there, two years ago. I trust in all of you who started your novel to finish it, if not this month, then next month or next year.

For now, LOOK AT MY BEAUTIFUL GRAPH!

Obsseessiooon

2010-11-09T09:30:00.000-08:00

Yes. You heard right. I might have a little itty bitty obsession with a song right now...

And by right now, I mean for a month.

I have been listening to this :

Since I discovered it. Lyrics wise, I have no idea what it says, but the video is so funny, and the song is so danceable that I am forced to listen to it while I do homework or do anything really. It is my new go-to song.

It puts me in a good mood, and believe it or not, makes me do my homework faster. Let's see if it does wonder with my word count?

Book Cover

2010-11-08T06:10:00.000-08:00

So, I was messing around on Photoshop (and I have been sucking at photoshop so far. But! Practice makes perfect!!) and I came up with a cute first draft book cover forPerfect Little Me.

I stole the model from online, so I have no idea who she is, but she has nice hair, so she will be my model now! (I am so evil)

Anyway, here is the book cover for PLM!

NaNo companions?

2010-11-07T16:57:00.000-08:00

I am still on track with NaNo and if anyone wants to friend me on NaNoWrimo --> ally-chan.

Don't hesitate to look me up, I love new writing buddies :P
Plus, it is great to see other people doing great also! :D and I love to read what other people think of, sooo... please please, friend me ;]

NaNoWriMo

2010-11-05T21:51:00.000-07:00

I am still doing impressively well. I have been following the graph that NaNoWriMo provided us.

Little Lexi's story is unraveling beautifully, and even though I have 16 pages, I still haven't introduce the problem which needs to happen soon.

I guess we will see if tomorrow is a better day for all < 3

Good night, and sweet dream

I say I can't get distracted...

2010-11-05T06:21:00.000-07:00

Yet, it seems like life is crumbling around me.

This post is about my boyfriend. Kevin. Some of you might have seen his picture in some of my previous entry.

He is a handsome man, with a heart of gold... for anyone else but me.

We have been dating for almost 4 years (Nov 10th 2006). Lately, I have been depressed (wait. What?).

I am hid it to everyone, but him. I am still hiding it from everyone. No one looks past my excuses for not hanging out with them, no one questions my seclusion or my strange eating habits. Kevin didn't even really notice until I had to spell it out for him.

Still after then, nothing changed. I told him I just needed to feel love. I need to know that my life has a point, and that I am not just another carbon body wasting energy and ruining others' lives.

I really expect Kevin to stop up from being a regular boyfriend, to an amazing boyfriend. Like in those dramas where the boy does everything in his power to make sure that the girl smiles again. Instead, I got the opposite. He turned on himself, and looked on how much I hurt him, how much I ditched him, and how much I had done to him.

Instead of feeling loved and worth a damn, I sank deeper in my feeling of loneliness, and of failure. I have been trying to hide it for 2 months, and still no one has noticed. Still Kevin has done very little. The one date we have gone on was alright. I felt like I saw the little light at the end of the tunnel, that everything was going to be okay. My tears were going to stop, but instead, we went back to his bare naked room, and I ended up crying in silence again.

His room has nothing of me. No one would know I existed if they walked in his room. It hurt so bad to know that he can put everything I gave him into a drawer and never bother to look at it. I couldn't help but cry in silence. Kevin took notice, and now is using it against me.

In five days it is our 4th anniversary, and I am not as excited as a 20 year old should be. To anyone in the world, it means happiness, love and cherished memories, while for me, it will mean more fighting and sinking deeper and deeper in the depression.

I am hoping NaNowrimo is keeping me afloat. I am hoping it will save me, because so far no one has wanted to jump in the water to pull me out. Not even the man who supposedly loves me more than anything in the world.

NaNoDiet

2010-11-04T06:01:00.001-07:00

I am doing fine with NaNoWriMo. Getting my words in. Enjoying my time. Not going out anymore.

The usual!

My only problem now is my diet. I haven't been paying attention, and I have been eating quite unhealthy. An Angus Burger there, a slice of pizza there, some frozen microwavable dinner there. Not a good idea, my body doesn't enjoy that.

I am thinking of going back on the 300,400,500 calories diet.

Breakfast: 300

Snack: 100

Lunch: 400

Snack: 100

Dinner: 500

Total: 1400 Calories.

I always ate healthier when I watch my calories.

We will see, I can't get distracted from NaNoWriMo because of some stupid diet.

NaNoWriMo ! 1st Day.

2010-11-02T09:34:00.000-07:00

So far, so good!

I reached my first word goal (1684) and I am going to have to surpass today's word goal (1667) in order to feel complete satisfied with myself!

Diet Update:
I ate an Angus Burger from McDonalds yesterday. Grrr on being healthy! But I hate my tomatoes for dinner :P So, I was only half bad!

My prologue for Little Perfect Me: (for those who want to read it)

I packed my bag with my colorful notebooks and my multiple textbooks. Today was a Thursday, a day filled with college courses and my boring job. I shoved my uniform, consisting of a navy blue shirt, red scarf and Marriot pin into the bag, trying my best to get everything to fit properly. I looked at my clock, as it flashed 11:00 AM. I was going to be late to my first class.
I looked at myself in the mirror, quickly passing my hand over my hair, hoping to flatten it out a little bit and ran out of my dorms room. My roommate muttered a “good bye” while I slammed the door as a response. The elevator shut as I arrived in the lounge, and I ran for the stairs. It felt as if I was going to skip a step and crack my skull open on the next step, but, miraculously, I made it to the bottom of the staircase without injury. I waved at the building clerk and ran to my car.
I had 15 minutes to get to class and I would make it. I dug my keys into the side of my car and turned it. I heard the engine roar and put my car in reverse. I looked behind me, an accident was the last thing I needed and sped through the parking lot. Once out, I drove on the back rounds leading to my classroom. I waited at every stop sign and every light, while looking at my clock anxiously.
It was now 11:10 AM. I had five minutes to find a parking spot in the already too crowded parking lot and run to class. As I skimmed through rows of cars I quickly noticed a tiny empty space. I would have to squeeze Meem, my bright red Honda, but it will have to do now. Once parked, I realize how difficult it was to get myself out of my own car. I pulled on my backpack’s strap angrily. I didn’t have time for this kind of problems. Finally Meem let go of my backpack and I was able to shuffle my way out of between the two cars. I locked her and ran to my classroom.
The cold air burnt my lungs, as I along the numerous cars. Good thing I was a softball player, otherwise I would have probably given up on running and accepted my fate as being a tardy student. I wasn’t a tardy student, never have been, and never will be. Not on my watch, not in my book. I wasn’t about to start today, just because a little bit of cold air was hurting my lungs. I am not a quitter.

I hope you enjoyed it, because that's all you're getting :P!!
- I know, I am cruel -

More trips? Really?

2010-11-01T10:21:00.000-07:00

Yes. Yes. More trips!

This winter for 3 weeks I will be going to China... AGAIN! I am the most excited!

This time I will be in Guangxi province. In Guizhou University, I will be studying Mandarin, and I will also be studying the culture of China.

Guizhou is a lot more rural. It is in the south of China (think Texas in the USA, Guangxi province is in the same location, but in China), so it isn't as populated as Shanghai or Beijing (there is still a LOT of people. No worries).

I am really not sure what to expect, but here is two photos I pulled from the internet.

Kevin will not be joining me on my trip this time. He has to study for his MCATS and what not. So, I know he is raging about that. He really doesn't want me to go, but he understands that if I don't go I will be even more upset at him. I am hoping he will accept to have more Skype dates from now on :]

Hopefully, I will have a proxy, so I can still update you about my trip this time! If not, I will have Kevin upload it for me. Hopefully!!

Anyway, I feel like the luckiest person in the world about this trip!

NaNoWriMo

2010-11-01T06:08:00.000-07:00

So, it is that time of the year again! National Novel Writing Month. I am partaking in this crazy world of writing 1667 words a day!

I asked you all to vote on the novel I will be writing, and you all chose... Perfect Little Me!

So that is it. Perfect Little Me won. I already have the timeline mapped out for it, and my main character is ready to be thrown into action. Right, Lexi?

(Lexi says yes.)

Expect a lot of crazy this year. Seeing as I am back to being obsessed with Asian Dramas (Boys over Flowers :] )>

- She doesn't like the fact that she is going to be very stressed out over the next couple days. -

No. I am not insane. I promise :D

1,000 Views

2010-10-30T12:17:00.001-07:00

I just passed the 1000 views mark!

Thank you to everyone who views my blog regularly and to people who just pass by!

You warm my heart and keep my blog healthy ;]

NaNoWriMo

2010-10-29T07:15:00.000-07:00

So NaNoWriMo is reaaally close!

I am not sure what I want to write about. I have two options right now.

Option #1:
- Sequel to Fatal Kiss.

[Quick synopsis of Fatal Kiss: Hope and Josh are vampires. D.O.V.E. is after all vampires, trying to get rid of all vampires in the USA. Hope gets captured, and Josh tries to save her. When he does, he discovers other vampire colonies and has to escape the infuriated D.O.V.E.]

What will it be about?
Most likely it will be the revenge that D.O.V.E. will try to bring upon the vampires. After losing Hope, it was super awkward for them to go to the government and tell them they lost a vampire. So, the government cut their budget. Now, they only want revenge.
So why are you hesitating?
I really really want to write the other story also :P

Option #2:
- Perfect Little Me

What will it be about?
A bit autobiography about a young girl with a lot of expectations. She is expected to be perfect at everything in every field. She basically burns out and snaps, finally taking some time on herself. Pretty much how I feel right now, but I have no time to myself... Even if I want some.
So why are you hesitating?
Because I really want to write a sequel for Fatal Kiss. They deserve a sequel (and Linda really wants one :P)

So, if you want to put in your opinion go ahead! :D It will make my life easier!!

Stressed

2010-10-28T06:59:00.000-07:00

I haven't posted in awhile, but do not think I have forgotten about you!

I finished babysit the 21 cats and I am now almost back in the rythm of things. I saw ALMOST, because my body isn't agreeing with my fast pace life anymore. (I am old?)
I have been sick two times within the last week, and I do not usually get that sick. I sleep properly but wake up exhausted.

It is time to break out the vitamins and start being healthy again.
I was thinking of detoxing my body from all the bad food I have been eating. Hopefully, it will help me get better.
So my diet will be:
- Salad
- Tomatoes
- Celery
- Yogurt
- Carrots
- Broccoli (it is good for your skin. I need to get rid of that acne!)

All of them will be raw, in order for my vegetables and fruit to keep the most of their nutrients.
Plus, my diet will hopefully get rid of that muffin top I develloped other the past two weeks.

Basically, everything around me is going very fast, and I feel like a robot. A never stopping robot. I am pretty sure I wake up exhausted because I am even stressed in my sleep! I discovered another chipped teeth (I grind my teeth at night).

I can't wait for NaNoWriMo to start. I will have some peace and quiet to myself, some time to relax.

Happy Birthday!

2010-10-14T14:15:00.000-07:00

To me!

I am 20 now. Finally. So time to update my list.

First, I am moving out. Update: I moved out! Accomplished!

Second, I will be less dependent of my parents.Update: I finance almost everything myself! Accomplished!

Third, I will be paying for my travels (I travel a lot). Update: I managed to do that, and still doing it! Accomplished!

Fourth, I will have to budget my finances. Update: Yeaahh... Maybe I didn't need to go to that restaurant, but Accomplished!

Fifth, I will be a junior in college. Update: So far, I have all As! Accomplished?!

Sixth, (For a short period of time) I will be trying to transfer universities - it is a lot of paperwork. Update: I got rejected from Upenn. But oh well... Accomplished for the paperwork, Fail for the getting in.

Seventh, I will lose friends, and make new ones. Update: I haven't lost too many friends. But I have gained tons! Accomplished!

Eighth, I will most likely fight with my boyfriend. Update: Oh yeah. Accomplished...

Ninth, I will have to balance work, studying, fun time, and writing. Update: Writing is going to have to start again with NaNoWriMo!

Tenth, I will try to get published. Update: Fail.

Eleventh, I will have to deal with my grandmother being sick. Update: She is doing slightly better :D

Twelfth, I will have to deal with being in America, and getting an American education. Update: I think I might live if I keep on traveling a lot :P

Thirteenth, My childish dreams will be crushed and destroyed by the big scary world out there. (No more of "I wanna be a princess") Update: So far, I still want to be a princess!

So, On my birthday I didn't do anything super mega fun, but I had 5 days to celebrate my birthday (My 5 day birthday). I had a lot of fun. Still :P

On the other hand, I am 20 now, which makes me officially a young adult!!

Sick at home

2010-10-05T06:25:00.000-07:00

Yes, you heard it.

I'm sick and at home, which means more time for the blog. Crazy right? What to do with all that time?

Well, if I wasn't sick, I would catch up on some homework, feed myself, and start sketching up a draft for the Sequel of Fatal Kiss.

Oh and guess what. Yes. Let's guess. In a few days (6 to be exact), I will finally be 20. I know I only had 6 months with this blog, and in order to do everything I ever wanted to do, but man, time passed by!

Anyway, this means that in 6 days, I will have to review my list, and I will get to write a new one. For my next birthday.

In 6 days, I will leave teenage years behind!

That is, if I dont die beforehand. I really feel like I am about to die right now. I guess I should go back to bed, and wait for my room mates to wake up to make me some soup.

Bank Card fraud and Adult life stuff

2010-10-01T11:08:00.000-07:00

So, as some might have noticed, I haven't wrote in awhile.

I have had a very very stressful week. Between school, adult life, and kid life, it seems like there no time for fun! Or my blog.

Well, first. I am only taking 5 classes, instead of 6. It seems like nothing, but it means that I will have to graduate a semester late. It is most likely because of my Peace and Conflict minor.

I will live.

On another school note, I might go back to China this winter, to study Chinese for 4 weeks. We will see though. I might need to stay for the money.

Adult life has decided to show itself now. Someone has stolen my Debit Card information, stealing 250$ from me. I was stuck with 20$ in cash. Thank God, Kevin helped me out, and gave me a 100$, and my mom gave me another 40$. Otherwise, I would have not been able to do ANYTHING. My account was completely frozen, leaving me with money in my bank account, but not being able to touch it :[

I finally received my card, and hopefully can put all this behind us.

My car insurance is also acting up. I got a pretty bad crack on my windshield, and I went to get it repaired. Now they refuse to pay for it.

Getting into fights with corporate is my new hobby.

The new house!

2010-09-18T15:30:00.000-07:00

I just moved in my new house. A house, just with me and my friends. As you can imagine, it is A LOT different.

1. My mom isn't yelling at me.

2. I don't hear about my brothers all the time.

3. I am hanging out with my friends.

4. I get to see Kevin all the time.

5. I live in the city!!

6. I am on my way, for good.

7. I get to do what I want, how I want it.

8. I eat SO WELL. As in, healthy and smaller portions.

9. I can chose what I eat. Mommy doesnt make a menu anymore.

10. I cant laze around all day if I want.

It is a great feeling, and really a milestone in my life. I finally know what it is like to be a little more independent - even if Mom wants me home every Saturday.

There is obviously some negatives.

1. I am already started to be annoyed by my friends.

2. I am SO POOR. - I spent so much money on gas.

3. I still have to deal with my witch landlady.

4. I work a lot more.

5. I come home as exhausted as a hard working husband. (Where is my wife?)

Basically, there is always a bad side to everything in life, but I think that this was a good choice for my personal growth. I am glad I get to experience something so fun, and exhilarating. I will just have to eat lots of pasta ;]

Beijing - China

2010-09-14T17:18:00.001-07:00

Hey Gang!

I have been ... a lazy lazy person! But here is my post about Beijing!

We did a lot of touristy thing in Beijing, expect for going to the bookstore, where I bought a lot of book for cheap!!

We went to the Great Wall. I got sick, and so had to stop at the first tour guard. Kevin climbed all the way to the top of that section though!

I remember the stairs being halfway to my calf, and I was already sweating after the first three minutes. :/ I am so americanly out of shape!

We also went to the Imperial gardens. Gorgeous! If I was an empress I would want to live there for sure! It was giant, and so calming. Even with the hundreds of people running around and the crappy weather.

We went to the Temple of Paradise, which was pretty cool, but very quick to look at. We could have spent 30 minutes there and be happy. The architecture was really close to the Imperial Gardens and to the Forbidden City.

So obviously, we also went to the Forbidden City, which was not as cool as I expected. Everything looks very similar, and because I didn't understand the guide so I didn't get any of the cool background story :/

I wish I had pictures to show you, but I don't have any on this computer. I hope to steal them from Kevin again :]

Anyway, I have a lot more to tell you about regular life :P So keep posted!

Shanghai - China

2010-08-16T06:14:00.000-07:00

As expected, we went to the Expo in Shanghai. That's pretty much all we did in Shanghai. We meant to visit the city with some friends, but it ended up not working out for us. Kevin's family was very worried about us going out by ourselves. So, we didn't. We just went to the expo by ourselves.

In total, we visited about 16 pavilions. 3 major pavilions (France, USA, China). We were able to walk in the French pavilion VIP style, because of my French passport. It was a great feeling to walk in the pavilion and feeling at home, in a foreign country. It wasn't quite home, it was just a bliss to be able to be in a place that I understood, and I could see familiar things.

We spent the whole day walking from pavilion to pavilion. The camera died before we were able to get back to the hotel, so it will have to be in my memory!

The funniest anecdote of the day was probably when we walked in the Nigeria building. There was a man from Nigeria working there (Durr.), and he was "hitting" on every girl walking by. As he saw me, he asked Kevin if he had brought me for him. Kevin replied "No" (which made me blush a little bit) and we joked around for awhile. As we walked out of the pavilion, Kevin couldn't help but comment on the man's. It was fun, and probably one of our favorite pavilion. Kevin and I joked about that moment for awhile.

Sorry the picture is blurry. This is our new Nigerian friend! The volunteers at the Expo have a really hard time. They know nobody in the country, and they spend all day telling people the same thing, or trying to communicate with people who do not speak their language. We talked to a couple who said they were counting days.

It felt the opposite at the USA pavilion. The volunteers were dancing around and making the children's laugh. Their Chinese was very good, but mainly because this internship was given to people who speak Chinese. The pavilion itself wasn't as exciting as some of the other ones. It was a bunch of movies. The main attraction was a movie called "The Garden". The last room was filled was famous American company, which was disappointing. There was nothing about American's architecture or past. The movie is nowhere to be found :/ so you guys will have to do without it!

Sorry for the blurry again! The camera sucked! Well, that's it for the pavilions! If you want to see other pavilions, or know what's in them, leave a comment :D

Next: Beijing!

Huangshan - China

2010-08-14T12:23:00.000-07:00

We stayed in Huangshan for just a day and a half. I really didn't like the town much, mainly because it was little, and we were over looked a lot. I think it would have been nice to stay there for just a day.

Huangshan is a farmer town right by Mt Huangshan (obviously). It has a merchant street that has been there since the Song dynasty. There is a lot of pencil stores, Shanghai Expo stores and sculpture stores. The merchant street had a famous restaurant, where we ate a lot of weird tofu based food. I don't really like tofu, so this wasn't my favorite place to eat. Especially the 500 years old moldy tofu.

Yeah, I know. We are dorks <3>

They also have a famous lake. It has a bunch of islands worth visiting. We took a little boat to each island. The first one was an old temple type of island. There was a fortune teller there, so we obviously had to test it out. Kevin is attracted to water type which are represented by big dark skinned women, and I need a strong man who is not like a bamboo shoot. Basically we are the opposite of what we should marry. Good one chinese fortune teller.... good joke.

The second island was the "monkey island". Wild monkeys lived on that island, and they attack people who dont feed them. So we bought peanuts and fed them, also an angry little asian man came watch over us, in case the monkeys decided to take revenge anyway.

Next stop: Shanghai Expo!

Mt Huangshan - China

2010-08-12T15:33:00.000-07:00

During our stay, we went to Mt Huangshan (or "Yellow Mountain"). It was a regular mountain until someone sprayed the rumor that spending time there would guarantee you a long life. Therefore all the kings went there. The mountain was name Wangshan ("King Mountain"). Over time, Wang turned into Huang because of the proximity in pronunciation. Therefore, it is now called Huangshan!

We climbed over 6,000 steps before reaching our hotel. Once we reached the top of the mountain, we "locked" our love forever on top of the mountain. Quite literary. It is a common practice in China for lovers to buy a lock at a mountain or a high summit and attach it to a chain. Then throw away the keys. Symbolizing the forever love they are suppose to experience. I will keep you posted if it actually works!

This is our little lock. Cute uh? :]

Anyway, after I locked Kevin to me forever, we went to look at the sunset. It was not only beautiful, but there was very little people watching it, compared to the sunrise. We snapped a couple pictures and then went to grab a beer at the terrace of the hotel. The sky was clear. There was SO MANY stars in the sky! Here is the picture of the sunset, and then the sunrise.

The sunset was really beautiful and I wished I had my own camera, so I could have taken more amazing pictures!

There was TONS of people watching the sunrise. We had to wake up at 4:30 AM to go to this little view point. At the sight of the amount of people, we voted against taking the popular spot. I found a little trial walking up to a small cliff right across the view point. It was just me and Kevin and we got some beautiful pictures, along with some tranquility!

The walk down the mountain was a lot faster than the walk up! We decided to take to cable cars, so we didn't have to walk for another 5 hours. Once down, I wanted to stay down!

This is it for Mt. Huangshan, next I will have a little entry about the town of Huangshan!

Wuzhen- China

2010-08-11T20:37:00.000-07:00

We also took a day trip to Wuzhen. It is about 1h30 mns away from Hangzhou. Wuzhen is a preserved city from the Song dynasty. It is a water city, and therefore you have to get there through boat transportation.

Once we got in the city itself, we are left alone to explore. There is a lot of tea shops, and magistrates' houses where we first got off. The city is divided into 6 districts. After walking a little bit, and crossing a couple bridges, we arrived in the shopping district. You can find a bunch of little stores that can sell handmade China dish or tea, or pointless little toys that you can find cheaper in Hangzhou. I didn't buy anything that time, expect for fish food to feed the massive amount of fish before entering the working district.

As you can see, they swimming ON TOP of each other to get the food. It was like no one had fed them in ages. The kids (and Kevin) loved it! It was the highlight of their trip. Shortly after that, we got to make little snack. Unfortunately, I didnt catch the name of the dish. It was mainly flour mixed with water, created a goey substance that they rolled in some light brown powder. It tasted like peanuts.

Here is Kevin beating the flour into the gooey mixture. The snack was actually pretty good! We had some iced tea afterwards, and walked some more. We visited a factory of soy sauce and of rice wine. I hate calling factories, because they are so old school. I took a couple pictures of the soy sauce "factory". It was interesting as we could actually touch and open the soy sauce jar.

There was a lot more to see, but Kevin's little cousin got tired quite fast. So we decided to go back by boat. We did a quick tour of the little town (The west side is still under reconstruction) and went back home.

Next stop: Mt Huangshan!

Hangzhou- China

2010-08-10T21:04:00.000-07:00

This is the first post about China.

I am going to start with Hangzhou. That's where my first stop was, and where Kevin is from, so it seems appropriate.

I had never heard of Hangzhou before. It has recently turned into a bigger city outside of Shanghai. About 10 years ago, it was still ruled by farmers. Kevin told me a story that his father use to swim in the river, before it got so polluted.

This was barely 40 years ago. It was a hard pill to swallow. In my generation, we managed to pollute and change the life of a little city.

Hangzhou is known for Xi Hu (West Lake). It is a beautiful lake filled with legends and old people playing Majhong, practicing Tai chi, dancing and singing.

We went there at night and during the day. It was beautiful both times. Really peaceful to look at at night, and very romantic. ;)

Kevin and I enjoyed it.

During the day, people stared at me a lot. There isn't a lot of foreigners in Hangzhou, so I was a walking spectacle. People would really stop to look me up and down. I couldn't stop laughing about it.

We also went to the Lingyin temple. It is a famous Buddhist temple on the top of a mountain. We had to take a public for two hours. It was so early in the morning, that I was basically napping anyway.

It was filled with monks who actually had cell phones under their robes. It was quite ironic.

I went to the budda in each temples and prayed for wisdom, long life, love, happiness, and safety for everyone around me and my family.

It was very crowded, and people were bringing tons of offerings. They would climb the mountain with bags of fruits and vegetables to give to the monks.

After the Lingyin temple, there is also the Leifang Tower that we visited. I have no picture of the tower, because my camera got stolen. The legend of the tower is that once upon a time there was a goddess who wanted to live like mortal. She would take frequent trips to Earth. She met a young scholar on the broken bridge (In Xi Hu). They fell deeply in love. Leifang (The godess) stole some buddhist scrolls to become mortal, so she can marry the young scholar.

The monk becomes angry, and so he starts a war with her. Too bad that she can control the lake. She took her army of sea creatures and tried to defeat the monk.

The monk ordered to have locked up in the tower. They buried her under the tower.

Later her son came back and destroyed the tower, freeing his mother. She returned to the heavens, leaving Earth forever.

It was a gorgeous tower, and I really wish I had pictures to show you :/ We could see all of Hangzhou and Xi Hu.

We also climbed a mountain to another Tower. I do not remember the legends being that tower. There was a fabulous view of Hangzhou there.

There was a lot more things to do in Hangzhou but I do not have pictures, and I do not want to bore you with the little details. If you want to hear more, you might post a comment and I will do another post about Hangzhou, including Chong Se, The science museum and the zoo. :]

Tomorrow, I'll post about Wuzhen!

Terribly Jet Lagged

2010-08-09T03:19:00.001-07:00

Hey Guys!

I havent updated, and let me tell you why.
I am the luckiest person on Earth. Yes. That was sarcarsm.

First, the laptop I was suppose to use in China broke. So I couldnt use that.
Once I found another laptop to use, I find out China has blocked blogspot.

So I try not to freak out and try to be calm about the situation. Well, I come home and find out that my big laptop (the one I use for EVERYTHING) is broken too. SAME. EXACT. THING.
Some kind of problem with the motherboard and power cord. No idea, but I didn't have a laptop until my dad let me borrow his.
It is SO SLOW. It HATES Blogspot.

(I am not even sure if this will go through)

And to top it all. Someone stole my camera in China, so I have very little pictures.

BUT!!!!
China was awesome! I had a great time, and I miss it terribly. I am also terribly jet lagged. It is about 6:42 AM right now, and I havent slept yet. I sleep during the day.
Well, in a couple hours i am going to go scouting for computers.

I am off, and hoping this will work!

PS: More posts about China will come soon. I am tired of retyping the same thing a thousand times!

Off to China!

2010-07-16T08:52:00.001-07:00

Well, readers, followers and lovers.

I am out for China in less than 24 hours. I have been eating as much American food as possible, cuddled with my cats as much as possible, and I feel ready to leave the country and experience life :D!

So I will keep you up to date with life and funsies!

I will miss you... just a little ;)

PS: I got my visa, but I *HAD* to drive all the way to NYC to apply in emergency with my American passport. Oh life...

15 Days

2010-07-02T05:35:00.000-07:00

Wow. 15 Days left.

It is crazy.

A couple weeks ago, my trip to China felt like it was never going to happen, and now it seems so close. I am starting to panic about it.

It is been a dream of mine to visit Eastern Asia since I first started traveling. The culture is so different from everything I have ever experienced, that it fascinates me.

When I met Kevin [The boyfriend], I never thought that he would actually take me to China, or that he would be interested in traveling with me. He is the kind of boy that likes to stay home and play video games.

It was incredible that in just two weeks, we will be exploring Beijing, Shanghai and Hangzhou. I still think this is all a dream, and I am waiting for someone to tell me that this was a cruel prank.

Right now, my biggest worry about my trip isn't the itinerary (how we are getting from A to B) but rather my visa. China has been restricting Visas because of the World Expo. I applied with my French passport to save me a 100$, but it seems that the French government and the Chinese government are fighting.

Therefore, I'm still visa-less.

As you can imagine, with 15 days left, I am kind worried about this.

But, my job keeps me busy enough from thinking about it. If I had a whole day, and you guys wouldn't get bored, I would tell you how angry the company made me the other day.

Unfortunately, I do not have that time and you guys would hate it!

So, i am off... for another day filled with office work!

My job

2010-06-15T17:16:00.000-07:00

My job is killing me.

Just letting you guys know that if I stop blogging it is because I am dead from my job.

They took away my France trip, and replacing it with more office work. Which kills me by the way.

I am not an office person. Not for THAT long at least!!

I am a travel person! If you have travel before, and you have the travel bug, then you know what I am talking about!

This itchiness to get out and explore the world. To google picture of random places, or spend time on Google Earth.

Argh!!

I need my vacation. Now!

Life

2010-06-01T07:37:00.000-07:00

So, I've been busy as a bee.

Almost.

I've actually just been incredibly lazy. (As I predicted).

I've meant to do my Chinese.

I've meant to study my Korean.

I've meant to lose weight.

I've meant to write more.

But. My good old summer habits have kicked back in.

I always tell myself. "After a 9 hour work day, I need to relax a little bit!"

That's true! I need to relax! But relaxation can be productive! I need to be relax productive!

So, I have decided to start creating Chinese/ Korean Lessons.

So, I have decided to take up Karate/ Ju-jitsu/ Tai-chi/ Caperia.

So, I have decided to write at least one hour before going to bed/ right after waking up.

Let's see if I can be relax productive!

Diet.

2010-05-23T14:49:00.000-07:00

Alright, so I learned that I no longer am going to France.

My job didn't need me over, so therefore, I am staying here in the USA until July 17th.

Not a big deal. I've gone to France. I've lived in France. Been there, Done that.

Now. Diet?

Yes. I am starting a new diet. I have been eating unhealthy, since I eat at work most of the time. I've been eating pizza, and cake, and cookies, no vegetables, and fruits. So, I joined a website that helps me count my calories, and gives me a nutrition report of my day.

http://caloriecount.about.com

I love it. It also tracks the amount of calories I burn and grade my overall eating habit.

(Today I got a C :[ )

Could we say that I have to keep my grades up again!

Updates on my goals

2010-05-17T07:07:00.000-07:00

So. I got two of my goals done.

Application to the University of Pennsylvania.

I got rejected. I am not as sad as I expected to be. I did not expect to get in and frankly, I wouldn't fit at the prestigious university. It is not "me" enough. The girls there are different, and the atmosphere there is too prestigious for me. I don't mingle well with people like that. (Even though Kevin goes there. Opposites attract?)

Grades

Got 3 As, and 3 B+s. Now before I go crying because my B+s were SO close to an A it hurts, let me just say that I am still proud of myself. My grades were going downhill, and so was my GPA (which was worrying me). Now next semester, 4 As, and 2 B+s?

It is all about the baby steps...

I still need to:

- Finish editing Fatal Kiss

- Finish my script

- Finish my novel in progress

- Get ready for France/ China

- Finances (arghargharghargharghdontmentionthatword)

- Continue with my Chinese

- Continue with Korean!

So, I still have a full plate of stuff to do!

Sickness strikes again.

2010-05-16T10:31:00.000-07:00

Kevin got me sick this time.
But, on another note, he never saw Balto before! Just one of those great animated movies that I had forgotten about!

It is based on a true story. Back in the 20's, an epidemic of Diptheria hit Nome, a small town in Alaska. There was no medication left, and therefore, the town decided to send a team of the best sledge dogs to go to the nearest town and get more medication. Balto was the leader of the last team who brought the medicine back.

Now the movie has added a couple myths to the story.
In the movie:
- Balto is half dog, half wolf and shunned by dogs and humans
- There was only one team of dogs
- The man leading the team was hurt
- Balto came to save the day (He was the team leader originally)

No matter how much Spielberg changed the movie, it is still a tale of courage and determination. And, an adorable love story.

Quick little video for all!

2010-05-04T12:03:00.000-07:00

I was bumming around my house, instead of studying my Spanish, and as I turned on the TV I was reminded of a show that I love!

It is for preschooler, and as the same concept as Dora, but in Chinese and teaches children valuable social skills! [Ni-Hao, Kai Lan]

Youtube didn't have a whole episode, so all I can give you is this little preview.

Today, I learned how to say dinosaur. [Gong Long]!
Yes, it is a pretty awesome show. :D

Blog...

2010-05-04T06:10:00.000-07:00

So the little "Next Blog" Button up there was very useful during "studying". (I did study, no worries)

But I have noticed a common theme in blogs.

There is the "new baby in the house" type of blog.

- Every entry is about their baby.

- Tons of baby pictures.

- Every little anecdote about baby is found there.

There is "I believe in God" type of blog.

- Every entry has something to do with the blessing God gave to people

- Entries are also about how angry the blogger is looking at non-believers or "bad Christians"

- Bible Verses.

There is the "My life" type of blog.

- Obvious.

I am about to say I hate those blogs. I don't hate those blogs. I just find them so... dominant, it is boring. I don't care about baby, or your perspective on God, or your life.

I love blogs that make me think, or want to do something.

Where art thou, amazing blogs?

[PS: Back to studying]

Finals

2010-05-02T14:52:00.000-07:00

Finals are here.

Must study.

PS: I failed Script Frenzy D:

600 jump-ropes.

2010-04-27T17:27:00.000-07:00

I jumped 600 times today.

I have been slacking on everything I've made goals for this past two weeks.

Script frenzy is behind.

L2 Reading challenge is going slowly. (60 pages)

Working out was on hold due to sickness

Kevin's phone is broken, so I can't even get a hold of him properly.

Korean has been put on hold.

School is almost over.

Today is time to get back on tracks. I had my lazy week due to sickness, but now it is time to get back on track! Readers and followers, you hear me! Back on track.

I need 25 pages for script frenzy!

I need 40 pages for L2 Reading.

I need to get back in shape SOON! (Before june)

I need to... Get in touch with Kevin. Somehow. Get creative!

I need to order the Korean books I want.

I need to get two of my grade back to an A. (B+ right now)

----

By the way, I talked to both my teachers, and my education class is now an A, and my speaking class is a B+. Therefore, I should be able to get all As.

Tip: Always talk to your teacher if you have a problem with your grades :D

C00kies

2010-04-20T19:49:00.000-07:00

Mmm...

I baked cookies today.

So I didn't feel so sick anymore. I dont know why I thought it would work, but I did enjoy my cookies.

L2 reading = a little less than 40 pages. :D! Of chinese. Never thought I would be able to do something like that!

Script frenzy = 47 pages.

Working out = That is fading. Need to pick that up, but it is difficult with my body aches D:

Grades = Talked about that with my education professor and my grade is back to an A right now. So the only grade that isn't is my Public speaking and Spanish. Spanish will be when I get my participation grade in, and public speaking... well. I will have to focus on that next.

Everything is possible in life.

Break ups.

2010-04-19T12:26:00.000-07:00

"Breaks up at hard to do"

That's the jiggle of the new AllState (Insurance company). They offer a service that tells your old insurance you no longer what to be insured by them.

I didn't need someone to break up with Kevin for me this weekend.

It happened Sunday night. It is really hitting me now what I have done.

I don't truly want to give him up. I want to be with him, but he has been so uncaring lately, and so unkind to me.

I have been feeling pretty tense around him, like I couldn't be myself. I had to be the woman he wanted, instead of who I was.

Since I have broke it up (Or now it is "complicated" on facebook), he has all of the sudden taken an interest in being my prince Charming.

He has called my ex-best friend to tell her to never talk about me being my back, or tried to wish me good luck on my tests, and acting "happy" when I receive good grade.

I know it is all an act, and he is going to go back to his old ways, but it is so easy for me to see the good in him right now.

This might sound corny, but the only way to explain it is by saying: My heart is screaming "WHAT AN IDIOT YOU ARE ALLY!" while my brain is saying "This was a wise decision."

Who do I listen? My brain? My heart?

Behind on what? How?

2010-04-15T15:27:00.000-07:00

Yes...

How in the world am I behind on Script Frenzy?

I was doing so well! A week ago.

I am fourteen pages behind, which isn't that bad in script world, but not long ago I was 25 pages behind! HOW?!?!?!?!

Here is what I think happened.

------

Ally-chan: Oh! I am doing so well! I can just skip this ONE day and continue tomorrow. Hahaha ! *runs off with Kevin*

Reality: You did just fine. But now you're behind of 4 pages.

Ally-chan: Aaah... I don't feel like writing todayyyy!! Eh. It is not too bad to be behind a little more! It is all good, I will just need to write five pages a day instead of 4! :D

Reality: That's already 8 pages behind Ally. Bad.

Ally-chan: *forgot*

Reality: 12 pages.

Ally-chan: I GOT THIS GIANT ESSAY TO WRITE! SCRIPT FRENZY CAN WAIT FIVE SECONDS!

Reality: 16 pages *sigh*.

Ally-chan: Okay okay, let's write. *writes two pages*

Reality: Well, you're at 18 pages now.

Ally-chan: I am going to write this. *sits down and plays with her kittens instead of writing*

Reality: 22 pages.

Ally-chan: I got a headache. I dont want to do this at all.

Reality: And 26 pages. Good job on life.

Ally-chan: (Yesterday) DAMN IT! WHAT?! TIME TO WRITE! *and writes 20 pages at once*

------

That's not good.

Missing one day isn't a big deal. But missing more one day, and another day, and another day... without catching up/ realizing it, IS BAD. BAD BAD BAD.

It wasn't even procrastinating as much as over-confidence.

Never be over-confident about something. You're not super awesome-ness until someone tells you you are :D

Remember Napoleon? Yeah. Over confidence is B-A-D.

First conversation in Chinese

2010-04-13T16:30:00.000-07:00

As you can read in the title, I had my VERY first true Chinese conversation.
Outside of my Chinese class.

Yesterday, I had lunch with the Chinese exchange students from East China Normal University. By "Normal", the university isn't strange, or the average but built for students who want to focus on teaching in the future and want to study abroad. Therefore, if I was Chinese, I would go there.

The conversation was simple, but I got to used almost every grammar point that I learned.

Here it is:

(It will be in Pinyin, because i dont have the proper program to type it in characters)

Haze: Ni shou zhong wen ma?

-You speak chinese?-

Me: Dui. Wo liang nian xue zhongwen.

-Yes. I have been studying Chinese for two years.-

Shen Jing: Ni yao qu zhong guo ma?

-You want to go to China?-

Me: Who shuo zhongwen yidianr.

-I speak a little Chinese.-

Xie Lu: No, no, Ni. Yao *QU* zhong guo ma?

-No,no, You. want *TO GO* to China?-

Me: oooh!! Wo yao qi yue zhong guo.

-oooh!! I am going to China in July.-

Xie Lu: July?

-July?-

Me: Dui. Gen wode nan pengyou.

-Yes. With my boyfriend.-

Haze, Xie Lu: Oooh!! Is he handsoooome!?

-Oooh!! Is he handsoooome!?-

Me: Yes! I think so, at least!

-Yes! I think so, at least!

And that was the end of it, then I couldn't help but speak in English!

Sleep

2010-04-12T06:48:00.000-07:00

I always knew I needed sleep. Always. My mother is a big advocate for sleep, and sometimes I wonder if some mattress store pays her to talk about sleeping.

According to her sleep is beneficial because:
- You grow while you sleep
- Your brain rests
- Everything you learned that day "sinks in".
- It is a moment of reflection
- It is good for you back. It relaxes the spine.
- Good for any muscles. Relaxes them
- A good night of sleep gets you in a better mood.
- Gets rid of headaches
- Makes you eat less
- Your hair grows faster

Now, all of those arguments could make sense. I am not a scientist, I have just been listening to my mom for 12 years without even thinking she might be wrong. Then puberty hit, and she used to be wrong all the time for 6 years.
At this moment, she is half wrong half right.

But sleep seemed like a big waste of my time. I tried my best to stay up late, to take naps, but all failed. Then last night, I went to bed early, and I was awaken today by my lovely mexican crew.
Let me tell you, I want sleep. I want it bad. I just want to lay here and sleep.

But, my schedule doesn't permit me to sleep for how much I want. So, I will sleep as much as I can (which is 5 hours) and I will be grumpier and grumpier as the days go by.

Alpha Mu Gamma

2010-04-09T11:05:00.000-07:00

Yesterday night was my induction into Alpha Mu Gamma.

For some of you who do not know what that is, it is the National Honor Society of Foreign Languages.

My parents came and Kevin did too. Let me tell you my mom waited until everybody left to take the rest of the cookies. So now we have bowls filled with cookies. (that I have been eating... Already ruining my diet uh?)

Anyway,

I am officially Vice President, and the movie chair. Anyway, here are the first pictures of my blog.

You can blame my mom for the pixelation of the picture.
But we got nice roses :D
So here I am with my rose saying my pledge!

Updates

2010-04-06T18:45:00.000-07:00

So I've decided, that, since I had two seconds to myself. I'll throw in more updates :D!

Script Frenzy
In Green.

I should have 20 pages by tonight. As usual, I have no outline. Keelya and Dylan are taking me wherever their kindergarten hearts takes them. I'm doing pretty good, much better than I was doing with NaNoWriMo [I was struggling a lot]. I am also having a lot of fun with this, and I think I might write another script once I am done this one :D

L2 Reading Challenge
In Orange.

I read about 16 pages of mandarin. Today while in class, I think I felt asleep with my eyes open. Mandarin is blowing my head up. I spoke in Chinese while in my French class, and I want to point out things in the street and scream their Chinese name [Like a preschooler]. It is good though :D It means I am getting the language down and "graving it into my brain" as AJATT- All Japanese All The Time- would say.

Korean
In Purple.

As some of you might remember, I am learning Korean. Well, well, after talking to Linda I was doing it all wrong. In Korean, the word order in the sentence is different, and so learning vocabulary isn't the most efficient way to learn. So now, I am learning sentences. Let me tell you, it is a lot more difficult. I was happy with my ten words a day (or more like 6 sometimes). I am going to have to put a halt to it though, because I am getting busier as we speak.

AMG
In Teal.

Alpha Mu Gamma. Or, the Honor Society of Foreign Language. Initiation is in a couple days (Thursday to be exact). I will be the vice president of the Honor Society of Foreign Language. Insane right? I couldn't believe it either :D

Editing and writing
In Yellow.

So no one can see my failure. I completely stop editing :[ or writing the rest of My New Prison [Alan's story]. I know I will pick it up again, but so soon? eh. We shall see :D

Kevin
In Blue.

The boy. I am planning a trip to China with him, and he is making it difficult. The man doesn't want to do anything. No Scuba diving, No beach, No train traveling, No Hong Kong, No PANDA PETTING [DDD:]. After an hour of just pure whining at each other, I came up with the great idea of, he makes a list of things he wants to do. I make my list. We swap lists and we pick 5 things on each lists. Everyone is happy now. Well kinda, I am going to have to make 6 items beach time in order to go to the beach now. [Just kidding, there shall be no beach time :( ]

Working out
In Brown-ish

I have been running, working on my abs/ biceps/ triceps/ and thigh areas.
Basically, getting ready for a bikini season where I will not even be wearing bikinis (since I won't be near a beach). Last I ran was two miles, and I do this about everyday. I work out for 2 hours after school, every two days. Even though I have not lost weight per say (I remained the same weight- which wasn't a lot to begin with), I can see myself getting toner, and more in shape. I can run longer distances, and I can do actual push ups now! :D

Grades
In Red.

I talked to my two professors about my grades. This little non-all-A's problem is going to be resolved soon. I am not going to waste my time rewriting a paper three times to get a 55%. No-uh. Therefore, we will see tomorrow what will happen with this story!!

Well, i think that's all my updates. I am off writing my 4 pages for today, eating some cookies (I did run, so I need a reward now), and getting my Chinese down :D
If you got any questions about anything, comment!!!

Bad grades... Bad.

2010-04-05T16:48:00.000-07:00

The title says it all.

I just received two grades that didn't make me happy.

This semester I am aiming for a 4.0 GPA, or all A's, or at least a 95% in all my classes.

Right now, it seems IMPOSSIBLE.

My education class is RUINING my GPA. It does not make me happy. I might have to lower my standards in order to keep sane. :[

How unfortunate.

Sunday date?

2010-04-04T17:22:00.000-07:00

I tried to upload a new blog post yesterday. It was a fail.

Anyway, script frenzy is going JUST FINE. :D

Yes, you heard me. It is going. Just. Fine.

I am surprised actually, I was expecting to be lazy about this, because it looked so easy. I think since I have listen to the Now Habit tapes, I have been more prone to do things.

I have read 11 pages of mandarin so far. It has given me real headaches, and if I had done what I was suppose to do, I would have read 40 pages by now. (10 a day)

BUT. No. NOT FINE on the L2 reading Challenge!

I've found out that the rent will 410$. The landlord increased our monthly rent because of one extra person. Still less than I expected to pay, SO WHATEVER!

I am on top of the world.

April

2010-03-31T08:17:00.000-07:00

I just got news from one of my room mates.
I only have to pay $350 for rent now. I know. Insane right? Living in the city, in this amazing house for only 350$ (+utilities)/ month? Could life work out any better right now?
I think not.

So, as you guessed it, I am in an extremely happy mood.

Anyway. April contests? Yes. Contests!

The first one is Script Frenzy. 100 pages of script in 30 days. Crazy? Yes. Possible? Totally.
I am planning on writing the sequel to Fatal Kiss, but now I have doubts. I kinda want to write about something different.
As usual, i will see at the very last minute what my imagination has prepared for me :]

The second contest is L2 reading month. I need to read as many pages as I can in Mandarin. Yes. Mandarin.

The world: Ally, why didn't you chose Spanish?
Ally: Well, I know I can read in Spanish. I have already a book in Spanish over the summer. I needed to try something new.
The world: But Mandarin? That's gonna be hard.
Ally: ... I know, BUT I CAN DO IT!! :D

Anyway, I will get a cool sticker at the end :D!

Here are the links to the two contests:
Script frenzy: http://www.scriptfrenzy.org/
L2 Reading challenge: http://dokusho-kon.livejournal.com/419.html

Both brough to you by my crazy friend: Linda.

Angels have come down

2010-03-30T07:40:00.000-07:00

Sunday night was almost ordinary. Too ordinary apparently.
My laptop (lappy) decided to crash. Gave me the blue screen of death and everything.
I thought my life was going to end.

Thankfully, I gave it in the hands of 5 people, who together fixed it. Somehow. What was wrong with it? NO IDEA.
How they fixed it? NO IDEA.

All I care about is that all my writing is saved <3

Editing

2010-03-25T12:32:00.000-07:00

Editing is just like growing a plant.
I hate it at first. It is just too boring. It is a slow process, and the beginning of the book is always the most difficult to get through.
Then it blossoms, and it is the best part. You get really into it, and you start doing ten chapters at once. You really get in the story, and you just never want to end.
Then it starts to suck again. You just can't help yourself but not want to do it.

I am at that part. I hate it. If I do half a page per day, I am super lucky. I cannot sit down and do it. I start to get hungry, or want to go pee, and all the sudden have an urge to do homework. We all know this is not true. I have no urge to do homework.

I probably started this blog to procrastinate my last chapters.

Free time? I think not!

2010-03-22T09:35:00.000-07:00

As I finished with my application, and wrap up my lease, I am having less stress and more relaxing time.
I have learned my alphabet for Korean, and now I just need to learn at least 10 words a day. (Then I will know 300 in a month), and I will be pleased with myself.
But, as winter is leaving, and spring is installing itself, I realized that soon enough, it will be "bikini season".
I've never been ashamed of my body, so I never really feared bikini season as most girls do. I don't jump on the treadmill to lose my calories.
This year though.

I will get fit. Not for the sake of a nice body (I am good with what I got), but for the sake of running for more than six seconds without collapsing. I know. I am terribly out of shape, and for once I am ready to change that. I've said the same thing last year, and I lost some weight, but not because I worked out, because I stopped pigging out.

This time, I enrolled my little brother as my coach.
Do you remember those coaches you see on TV. The really mean ones. That's him.
Called me a wuss for not being able to do push ups. GIRL PUSH UPS. The one who get on your knees... Yeah. I can't even do those.
He added time to my wall seats because I could't last a whole minute at a 90 degree angle.

The good thing about enrolling someone like him is that I know he won't let me slack off. He has so much passion for working out, and being in shape, that I know he will make sure I get trim and that I will be able to run.

The bad thing about this is that I will never get out of it now. Failure is not an option, or he will make fun of me forever.

I am sore today, but not as much as I expected. It was a lot worst when I went skiing.
So now, the hour after/before dinner is busy from my intensive ab/leg/arm circuit.

So you better wait for a post about my intensive running session!

Updates

2010-03-21T13:26:00.000-07:00

So. After an eventful week, I have tons of tips, and updates. Obviously.

1. House/Lease
I have the house. Security deposit was sent. Lease was signed. And Credit report was sent. I have no credit, but my landlord has to check my parent's. Therefore, in June, I will be out of my house. :D! Exciting?! After all this time, and all this worry!

2. School/ Transfer
Everything was sent out. Nothing to worry about, now I just wait for the results. Once again, I thought I was going to poop my pants when my advisor hadn't sent out the report. I called freaking out, and the lady on the other end of the phone just told me to chill, and that this was all going to be okay. I just needed to sent it out that week. And I did :D

3. Writing my novel
I am working on my novel, and editing my previous novel. I am almost done editing! Yes. Then it means that I will have to retype it, reprint it, and re-read it. I think I will like it a lot more once it is done and a little more polished :D
The new novel (My New Prison) is at the really beginning, and I am dreading adding to it. I know that I am going to have to throw Alan in shock therapy, but I really don't want to D:

4. Relationship
The stress of this week has affected my moods, and how I react to people/Kevin in general.I am a lot less patient. I am also very moody. I have been happy, and sad within seconds. I crying and then I am laughing. I feel like I going through puberty all over again. I am 19. This whole angst business should be over. Kevin also does not response to my stress very well, which makes me angry and just a terrible vicious circle of doom. We are going through it, and surprisingly enough, we are doing pretty well. I think because he dealt with me during my obnoxious moodiness before, he knows that at the end I will be better, and I will smile again :]

5. Finances
Kinda don't want to talk about it. D:
In a couple months, I will be poorer than dirt.

So here you have it!
The biggest tip for today is:
- If you're in doo-doo, call people, and ask for help. People love to help :D
- When you're angry, know that it is not the other people's fault. It could be YOUR fault, your emotions out of whack. So calm down, take a minute and realize what is making you angry. :D

coughs

2010-03-12T17:17:00.000-08:00

I am sick. Deathly sick.
But guess what, I will be going to DC with Kevin. After all the bitching that i put him through for this, I am going to have to go.
Plus, I love DC anyway P:.
It is suppose to rain though. Not cool. But we'll chilling in a museum anyway, so it is not a big deal.

I sent in my submission for Blood Bound Books, and I received an email confirmation. So now, I just have to wait three weeks at the most. Exciiittteeeddd !! :D

As usual, I am having problems with my mother. She is just... too much for me to deal. One of those people you know? The ones who can't help themselves but say everything on their mind, and when you don't agree with them, they complain and bitch to you and name call you. Basically, kinda like a middle schooler. That's the best way I can explain my problem with my mother.

Anyway, nothing too exciting today, expect me being sick and napping a lot. Beautifully naps. :D And chicken noodle soup. <3

So tata!

March 14th, mystery solved

2010-03-11T05:22:00.001-08:00

Hello again!

I discovered what was due on March 14th. Another writing contest. I am not going to do it. Unfortunately, I just don't have the time to write a good new short story to send out.
Expect, if I am really bored tonight. Then, I will write a little something :]

Anyway, I finished my short story for publication. Later today, I think I will send Still-Life Art. We'll hear back in April :]

I also woke up early in order to go back to my old High School to get my scores for my SAT, SATII, ACT, AP, and TOEFL tests. Got them. Signed them. Send them later today, and that will be taken care of.

Basically, everything is slowly getting done. Now, I just have renting to finish and looking for more magazines to send out my stories :D!

All in all, I think I got this under control!

Rumble Jumble

2010-03-10T06:37:00.000-08:00

Hello again, and Good morning.

I have some good news regarding my lease. As long as we pay deposit on Thursday (tomorrow), we will have until Wednesday to sign the lease. So no problem here. Then I calculated the financial aspect, and it is all possible. Just going to tear a huge hole in my wallet/ bank account. I think I will live though. :]

I have news concerning my application for transfer. I have 5 days. Those are my news. 5 days to get my SAT, SATII, ACT, TOEFL, and AP tests sent to the school. Along with my advisor's report. 5 days. It is so soon, and I feel quite overwhelmed, but I know that I will get all of it done, on time, properly and I should be nervous.

Also news on my writing. I have 3 days to write an horror short story and send it out. 3 days. I started on one, but I don't know where it is going to take me. I have to say, I am pretty pleased with it so far though. I am much better at writing short stories than novels. MUCH MUCH better. We'll see where this takes me.

I also have something due on March 14, but I forgot. Hopefully, I will remember before it is too late. Otherwise, well. I am going to to suck it.
So those next 5 days are going to be stressful, and pretty much filled with things to do.

Financially, I am stable for now.
Mentally, I am about to curl up in a ball and cry.
Physically, I am healthy but tired.
Spiritually, well... that's none of your business, but I know that the big G will help me out on this one.

Therefore, I don't need more things to do!

PS: I am going to learn Korean. YES. I. AM. :D (You just wait until I have 5 minutes to myself)

Landlord = Kinda of a witch

2010-03-09T15:38:00.000-08:00

So, as I mentioned earlier, I am trying to move out of my house. A couple of friends and I found this perfect little house in the middle of a pretty big city. I didn't see anything wrong with it, neither did my other future female room mate (the other two are guys).
So we asked for the lease, and we asked for the price, and we made very clear we wanted it in general. When I made my parents look at the house, the landlord dropped the bomb that she would add a cleaning crew fee of $25 each tenant. Now, $25 isn't much right? It is five pair of underwear at Victoria Secret.
Well, I make $7 (counting taxes) an hour. So, I need to work a little more than 3 hours to make that $25. Yes, I have to add 3 hours to my already-over-schedule-day.
I accepted that, because the house is really perfect.
Now, I have to sign the lease by Thursday in order to get the house. This was communicated to me today. Not *I* have to sign it, but so do my parents. Thursday, at 1:15 pm.
Does my landlord think that my family and I have nothing else better to do than sit around and wait for her commands?
Then, I am told I would have to pay last month's rent on April 9th. We aren't moving until June. End of June. That's more than three months away.

Mind you, I also have to pay for my airplane ticket to China. What have I gotten myself into?

Another blog? WHY!!!

2010-03-09T07:46:00.000-08:00

Hello dear non-fans and stumblers,

I know. Another blog in the blogging world. Why a new blog?

Not because you care about my life. Not because I am bored, but because...

I am going through a stage of my life that EVERYONE has to go through, or has gone through already.

This is my last year of being a teenager. Yes. In a couple months (8 months to be exact), I will be 20, a young adult. I will not only have to take care of myself financially, but my tantrums will no longer be accepted.

As a 20 year old, I will have to deal with a lot more events/ things that I want to ever care for. Sometimes, I will want to regress to being 5, while other times, I will love it.

No matter what anyone says, the big 2-ooh, is a big step in anyone's life.

Now, what will make make my 20's different from my teen years.

First, I am moving out.

Second, I will be less dependent of my parents.

Third, I will be paying for my travels (I travel a lot)

Fourth, I will have to budget my finances.

Fifth, I will be a junior in college.

Sixth, (For a short period of time) I will be trying to transfer universities - it is a lot of paperwork.

Seventh, I will lose friends, and make new ones.

Eighth, I will most likely fight with my boyfriend.

Ninth, I will have to balance work, studying, fun time, and writing.

Tenth, I will try to get published.

Eleventh, I will have to deal with my grandmother being sick.

Twelfth, I will have to deal with being in America, and getting an American education.

Thirteenth, My childish dreams will be crushed and destroyed by the big scary world out there. (No more of "I wanna be a princess")

Those are just 13 points. Every month, I have great friends who think of something else for me to do. It includes writing a novel, or learning to bake, or going house hunting, or going to parties, or group studying (which never works by the way.)

So now, I hope this first post explained to you what this blog will be about.

And I hope this blog will guide you through being a 19 going on 20 year-old.

PS: I never wanted to be a princess.

BecomingYoungAdult

Scars

Under Meds.

News

What to do with an ex?

It is been awhile.

NanoUpdate

Cooking a chicken pot pie

Deathly Hallows. A review.

Link to my self-esteem

Society's new addition?

Failnance

Finances

Praxis Update

4th anniversary

NaNoEasy

Obsseessiooon

Book Cover

NaNo companions?

NaNoWriMo

I say I can't get distracted...

NaNoDiet

NaNoWriMo ! 1st Day.

More trips? Really?

NaNoWriMo

1,000 Views

NaNoWriMo

Stressed

Happy Birthday!

Sick at home

Bank Card fraud and Adult life stuff

The new house!

Beijing - China

Shanghai - China

Huangshan - China

Mt Huangshan - China

Wuzhen- China

Hangzhou- China

Terribly Jet Lagged

Off to China!

15 Days

My job

Life

Diet.

Updates on my goals

Sickness strikes again.

Quick little video for all!

Blog...

Finals

600 jump-ropes.

C00kies

Break ups.

Behind on what? How?

First conversation in Chinese

Sleep

Alpha Mu Gamma

Updates

Bad grades... Bad.

Sunday date?

April

Angels have come down

Editing

Free time? I think not!

Updates

*coughs*

March 14th, mystery solved

Rumble Jumble

Landlord = Kinda of a witch

Another blog? WHY!!!

coughs